How to Monitor Your Child’s Phone and Teach Them Healthy Tech Habits

Having a phone means greater security and independence for kids, but it also raises concerns about your child's screen time and online safety. Some operating systems (OS) have built-in parental controls, but may lack the features parents want. Free and paid parental control apps exist, but you may not know which ones are good and which are dangerous.

Striking the balance between encouraging healthy habits and freedom is tricky. However, many helpful tools and resources are available, including the best parental control apps on the market. If your goal is to monitor your child's phone as effectively as possible, keep reading for our full guide.

Best parental control apps to monitor your child's phone activity

How to monitor your child's phone usage

There are various ways to monitor your child's phone usage. Apple has Screen Time, a built-in set of controls, while Google Family Link lets you set up controls for Android devices for free. Each lets you set rules, screen time limits, content filters, web filtering, and other usage factors. However, they don't offer advanced features (such as alerts for identity theft or online predators), which some parents may want.

Good parental controls can send you content alerts that let you know if your child is talking about or engaging with self-harm content, as well as child predators, groomers, cyberbullying, and other concerning things that happen online.

A lot of control apps also offer location tracking. You'll be able to monitor your child's location and set alerts if your child leaves that area.

The aim of the best parental control apps is for your child to grow up safe and happy in a world full of tech. A big part of that includes your child's digital life and teaching them good habits. To help with this, many apps encourage conversations with your family about the importance of healthy tech habits with your kids.

Can I use the iOS or Android parental controls?

While you can use these settings, some aspects may be lacking. Apple's Screen Time and Google Family Link both offer controls for screen time limits, app restrictions, download restrictions, location services, and more. This is a solid foundation for keeping your child safe.

One thing to know about Apple's Screen Time: if you don't set a Screen Time passcode, your child may be able to tap through time limit prompts and keep using apps anyway. Make sure to lock your settings with a passcode your child doesn't know.

It's also worth noting that Google Family Link only works on Android devices and Chromebooks. It can't supervise iPhones, iPads, or Windows and Mac computers.

If you want alerts for your child's activities, such as self-harm language, cyberbullying, moving to different locations, sexual predators, and more, you'll need a parental control app.

Learn how to set up device-specific parental controls:

• Set up parental controls on Android
• Set up parental controls on iPhone

Explore our top-tested parental controls for Android and iPhone:

• Best parental control apps for Android
• Best parental control apps for iPhone

Why you should be monitoring your child online

The internet can be friendly to kids, supplementing their education and teaching them new skills they'd never have encountered before (think learning to sew their clothes or finding science experiments they can do at home). It can also be a very adult place that children aren't ready to view.

You'll want to monitor what content reaches your child to shield them from harm and foster conversations about what is and isn't healthy. Kids question the world around them, and you'll find it easier to answer those questions (and supply some of your own) by understanding what they're seeing.

Essential monitoring features

To fully engage with your child's online world, you'll need several essential monitoring features. These help divert inappropriate content from their devices and give you insight into their habits and usage.

Essential features include social media tools, web filtering, real-world location, and more. You can allow your kids to exercise their autonomy while teaching them responsible phone use. The following features are important when you're monitoring your kid's phone usage.

Web filtering

Whether you want to filter specific keywords and sites or want a blanket content rating system, you'll find different versions of web filtering on different platforms. Most parental control apps let you set a general content rating based on age and filter out web content that isn't safe for that age group.

Other forms of web content filtering include blocking specific keywords and sites, a standard feature in most of these services. It can also be set up through your router. Some routers let you configure filters to block unwanted content across all devices.

Call and messenger filtering

This more advanced feature lets you filter who can call and message your child. There are ways to filter calls from the built-in software on your phone, but extending that to third-party apps like Messenger is more difficult.

The alerts offered by various parental control apps can give you greater insight into your child's activities and who they're talking to. This gives you more warning if your child is getting involved in something they shouldn't be and provides a much bigger safety net than the built-in filters can.

Messaging filters on Facebook

If your child is under 13, Meta offers Messenger Kids, a separate app designed for younger children. Parents control the contact list entirely through a Parent Dashboard in their own Facebook app. You can see who your child is chatting with, set times when the app can be used, and review messages and media.

If your child is between 13 and 17, they're automatically placed into a Teen Account on Facebook and Messenger. Teen Accounts have default safety settings that limit who can contact your teen and what content they can see. You can set up supervision through Meta's Family Center to view your teen's connections, set daily time limits, and approve or deny requests to change safety settings. Teens under 16 need parental permission to change their settings to a less restrictive level.

Regardless of which applies to your child, we recommend checking in on their messaging activity regularly rather than relying on filters alone.

App restrictions

App restrictions are harder to enforce, especially if you have a tech-savvy kid who can disable or work around your configurations. Most phones have a feature that requires parental permission before downloading apps, but kids have found workarounds. On Apple devices, for example, some previously approved apps can be redownloaded without triggering Ask to Buy again.

Parental control apps offer more customizable restrictions and are much more reliable than built-in solutions.

However, be careful you don't overdo the restrictions. We don't recommend using invasive spy apps that secretly monitor everything your child does without their knowledge. Apps that are transparent about what parents can see tend to be more effective at building trust and healthy habits.

Time limits

This is one of the most common features available. You can set restrictions for certain apps and overall phone usage, set blackout times, and designate trusted contacts who can always be reached even when time limits are up.

Disabling all other apps and allowing access to educational resources are great ways to teach your child to manage screen time and prioritize learning. There are many ways to customize time limits to create a workable schedule.

Location tracking

Apple and Android both offer location-tracking services. Google Family Link lets you locate your children on one map and sends notifications when your child arrives at or leaves an approved location. It also shows you the device's remaining battery level, which can be reassuring when your kid is out. Some parental control apps offer similar or more granular location features, including the ability to set a custom safe zone radius. 

How to set up a parental control app

Getting parental control apps set up correctly will ensure your child is protected and that nothing unwanted gets through. Before starting, you should read the tutorial for your chosen service, even if the controls are included for free in your child's OS.

Here's a guide on setting up one of our recommended apps, Bark.

To set up Bark on your child's device:

1. Sign up for your free trial.
2. Download the app.
3. Create profiles for each child under 18.
4. Connect your child's email, social media, and devices by following the instructions in the app.
5. Enter your credit card information to start your trial (you'll be charged once it ends).
6. Choose who gets alerts.
7. Follow the instructions in the app to set up each feature.

Features you should activate immediately:

• Block inappropriate websites/set an age category for your child.
• Block unwanted apps.
• Schedule downtime and screen time limits.
• Set social media permissions.
• Set alerts.
• Set contacts.
• Activate your parent dashboard.
• Set up child identity theft protections if available.

How to choose the best parental control software

When you're looking for a parental control app, there are several factors to consider to ensure you're getting the best one.

Since the best software for you depends on your specific needs, here are some factors to consider when choosing an app to monitor your kids' phone usage.

• Your child's age — The amount of supervision your child requires depends on their age. A younger child may require more feature-rich parental apps to help manage screen time, block apps, and provide real-time alerts.
• Ease of use — If you're not very tech-savvy, consider parental control software that is easier to set up. For example, Bark offers a phone with controls already installed and configured.
• Budget — The cost of parental control apps varies by plan. Consider how many features you need and compare products so you only pay for what you need.
• Multiple devices — Kids have multiple devices these days, so you'll want a service that allows you to set permissions for all of them. Most parental control apps let you set the permissions for each child rather than each device. This means you won't have to worry about reconfiguring your settings whenever a device updates or changes.

Other ways to keep your child safe online

Even if you have a tight lock on your kids' devices, there are still other unsafe online activities to which adults regularly fall prey. Teaching your kids about cybersecurity, online safety, and online hygiene can help them spot scams and spam. Online education topics to consider:

• Discuss online hygiene — Make sure to have conversations with your child about the importance of online safety and the dangers present on the internet.
• Use a password manager — Using a password manager makes it easier to keep track of passwords and generate strong ones. This will keep your child's online accounts safe.
• Watch for identity theft — Know the signs of identity theft and monitor your child's data for potential thieves.
• Learn about phishing scams — Kids are susceptible to phishing attacks, too, especially if they play online games like Fortnite. Teach your child about phishing scams to keep them safe.
• Use secure websites — Teach your child how to tell if a website is secure and make sure the sites they visit are legitimate and safe.
• Disable location services for live sites — Some sites request your location even though they don't need it. Make sure your child knows not to approve location requests from websites.
• Enable two-factor authentication (2FA), multifactor authentication (MFA), and biometric authentication (Face ID, fingerprint unlock, etc.) whenever possible.

Bottom line

Keeping track of how your child uses their phone can help them develop healthy habits and avoid inappropriate content. Whether you use the built-in controls or get expanded features with the best parental control apps available, you can help your kids learn appropriate phone etiquette and usage.

Remember, it's always a good idea to talk with your kids about technology, how to use it safely, and when to unplug.

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